I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
