You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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