OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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