I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize