Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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