She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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