We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
