What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
