Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
