You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
