I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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