He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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