what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
