So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
