I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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