I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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