How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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