It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
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I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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