i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
