you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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