Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
