I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
