We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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