Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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