I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
