Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The adults are the big ones right?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
