don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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