I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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