theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were trust falling into bushes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
