I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
