Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize