When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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