How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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