I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
two words...techno handjob
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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