Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
