I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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