He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Randomize
