i think my tv is drunk
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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