is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
40s are totally the cure
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
