I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
