Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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