Banned from zoo.
Again?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize