He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
