and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
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i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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