Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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