Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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