Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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