I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
