i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
