So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
