it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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