Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize