dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
