I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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