Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
