have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im six kinds of drunk right now
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
