the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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