It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
