i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we made out on top of his cat.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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